Resolutions

A few years ago, I actually sought the help of a medical professional to deal with certain... neurotic behaviors. While she insisted I was not OCD, I did have OCD tendencies that she requested I keep an eye on; for instance, excessive hand washing and counting. She convinced me I did this for comfort and not because I was obsessive or compulsive. I didn't mention redoing certain household chores that my dearest husband attempted, because they were completely wrong (ie. secretly refolding his poor attempts at folding laundry)

I decided my New Year's resolution would be to perfect this obsessive compulsive behavior. Mommy always said "perfect practice makes perfect".

I like the idea of being obsessive about things. Right now I am obsessively lazy. I know there is dust on my baseboards, but I was too distracted watching videos on YouTube to take care of it... until today.

I will not put off until tomorrow what I can obsess over today.

What's your New Year's Resolution?

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Where's my 5 Bucks?

HA! I told you! I told you that Marv was going to get out of celebrating our Anniversary.

This year, he pulled an imaginary cold out of his ass and lay in bed whimpering all evening. He was miraculously cured the next day. How convenient!

I am just going to let it go... and bring it up in arguments the rest of the year. He guilted me into marrying him, and I am going to guilt him into LOTS of stuff all year long.

How you like them apples, Marv?

I will set up a PayPal account tomorrow, so you can send me my $5.00.

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Happy Anniversary to Me!

Today is our 12 year anniversary. Marvin wanted to get married after the first of the year as close as we could to the 1st for tax reasons, and to give him a way of getting out of celebrating. His family has always been like that. His Aunt Rita's birthday was on Christmas, and every year she always got the birthday/Christmas combo gifts. On her thirty-third birthday she made a huge scene (so the story goes) and declared that "this is my last birthday". The whole family freaked out and had her committed.

They were afraid she was sucidal; apparently it was just a midlife crisis. Every year most of his family loads up to go see her the week or so before her birthday/Christmas. Their smiling faces and the presents trigger some kind of weird flashback that ensures her stay at the hospital for at least another year. Poor, poor Aunt Rita.

Weird family and Marvin is no different. We both grew up in a town where all the kids were named after old people. I was named after my great grandmother and Marvin was named after is father, who was named after his father, and so on. My only other boyfriend's name was Stuart. I am not sure who he was named after but "Stuart" sounds like an old man's name.

Basically, Marvin guilted me into dating him by bringing up an incident I might have caused in grade school. I did feel bad about it... then.

I was bored one day, and I wrote a lovely little note to this girl in my class. She was a rude, hateful little thing, and I thought I would tell her so on the behalf of the "entire universe". I signed Marvin's name. I wish I would have kept a copy it. It was eloquent.

Marvin got into a world of trouble. Not only with the school and his parents, but the little girl's boyfriend who was in 7th grade beat him up pretty bad. I felt awful about it. The guilt consumed me, so I emptied my piggy bank and gave him all the money I had and told him what I had done. He was really pissed, and now he will occassionally bring it up when we are arguing about other things.

Oh man, look I am rambling and I just intended to write about my anniversary. 5 bucks says Marvin says we "celebrated" our anniversary last night :-(.
~NM

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